HELP: I have too many books!

HELP: I have too many books!

BOOKS = Cluttery Uncoolness

 

Tune you should be listening to for this post: Piano Man by Billy Joel

 

It’s twelve-o-clock on a Saturday and I’m giving books away for free. There’s no one sitting next to me, and I’m just drinking some tea. 

 

You can turn the song down now and help me figure out how to get rid of my books. There are those (and you know who you are) that say that Dust Mites multiply. My books multiply. My books have sex without me knowing it and suddenly there are more in my closet, in my boxes, and on my shelves. My books are literally like bunnies. 

 

I know where to take my books. I know what to do. Pick out books which have no meaning to me and take them to the Good Will or the dump. Probably the Good Will since I can’t afford to take them to the dump and I no longer drive a truck. 

 

How does a book lover who is not a book collector get rid of her books? How can I get rid of them? It’s a sickness. I have books that I haven’t touched in months. I have two bookshelves that need to be dusted. I don’t have enough room to even look at my books. My place is too small. 

 

I’m scared that the sheer number of words in my place might intimidate a future guest. I need to de-clutter. No more paper. No more books. No more teacher’s dirty looks.

 

But, seriously. What am I without my books? I’ve always been known as the Fake Librarian with books ready for friends and family members whether they wanted them or not. But my friends and family are decreasingly excited by my books. Nerds are no longer cool. Geeks have taken over. I don’t even play video games, so I can’t be a Geek. I want to be Cool, but it’s so hard with all of these books around. 

 

Should I pick an arbitrary number of books to have at any one time? Should I just keep the books that make me look Cool--capital “C” intended--even if they aren’t my favorites? Should I start color-coding my books to undermine the Dewey decimal system? 

 

Or should I just go alphabetically and get rid of all the books from Q-Z? Or will that be enough? Are there any authors in that range that will be offended if I put their books in the trash? Not that they will know, but I WILL KNOW.

 

All suggestions should be directed to the comments section immediately. AND I’m not the only one in these shoes. READ THIS and you’ll understand my deep and undying pain.