I didn’t like what little I read about the “Twilight” series. Personally, I am with Stephen King: J.K. Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good. 

That is only one of the reasons that I was delighted to see that the Harvard Lampoon have used their creativity and written a satire based entirely on “Twilight”, which was a total piece of garbage in my humble opinion.

The title of the satire is a little scary, so be forewarned: it’s called “Nightlight” and unlike my new favorite satire, “Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies”, “Nightlight” closely follows the writing style (bad) and the heroine’s obsession for Vampires (debatably good) and does not throw in any additional monsters or martial arts skills into the book.

The heroine sounds much the same, but the Vampire Edward has been morphed into a total and complete klutz. All Vampire dignity is lost is lost in this book.  His name has been changed to the less-distinguished “Edwart” and he is attracted to Belle for her “grape-fruit scented blood”. Sounds delicious, doesn’t it?  Clearly Robert Pattinson will not play him in the movie.

The heroine in the satire, Belle, is equally as wishy-washy in the satire as she was in the original series and has clever lines such as:
About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe."

Her math appears to be equally as bad as her wishy-washiness. And, according to one review I read, she still has the mistaken impression that all of the guys in the school are in love with her.

Again, the situations in the satire are not so different from the original “Twilight”. I do have to wonder if “Nightlight” will be made into a big Hollywood production like the original or if we will have to wait for the made-for-tv version on the Hallmark channel. Either way, it’s nice to see that the whole  “Twilight “series is being mocked-I don’t know about you, but I am so over old vampires posing as teen-agers and preying upon the weak and the stupid young teen-aged girls, aren’t you?.